For the source text click/tap here: Nedarim 21
To download, click/tap here: PDF
Steinsaltz tells us:
In order for a neder (vow) to take effect, the individual who is taking the vow must have true intent, and a vow that is uttered without meaning does not obligate the person who made it. Nevertheless, a person cannot simply claim that he did not mean what he said; we always work with the assumption that what a person said is what he meant. Still, the Sages of the Talmud teach that there are some instances where it is clear to all that the person making the neder did not really mean to obligate himself, and in such cases the person is not obligated to keep his word – his vow notwithstanding.
Aruch Hashulchan explains that there are two methods of releasing a person from a vow. The first method is to find an opening - פתח –and the second method is for the power to express regret – חרטה .
We explore the notion of regret as applied to vows including studies regarding regret in intimate relationships and divorce.